so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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