What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize