Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
