I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
