I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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