I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize