yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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