you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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