My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
