This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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