I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
