My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize