you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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