OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
