Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
