dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
