they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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