My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
