Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
