I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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