But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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