but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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