i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
