Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
