I forgot how hot balto sounded
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
3 2 1 whiskey
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
