Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize