he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize