she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
