i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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