doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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