why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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