i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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