i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
