fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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