Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
