why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
