Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize