I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
