I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize