I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
