I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
