This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
