I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
