I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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