idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
