I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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