who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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