This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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