You work out of a Hotel?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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