I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
