I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
