On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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