Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize