we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
