I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
