i think my tv is drunk
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
