I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
