I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
