Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
