I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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