The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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