When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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