he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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