I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
